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Buck
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Went back home today to see the in-laws and Mom.
Now you have to picture this first...... my Mom is around 80, gets around pretty good, has a Boston Bulldog named Sasssy that means more to her than all of her offspring combined.
My Mom has a tendency to imagine a lot of stuff...... she called a few weeks back and said Sassy had a heart attack and she revived the dog with a cold wet wash cloth. I took this with a BIG GRAIN of SALT!
This is the same woman that has not talked to a neighbor for 5 years because of this scenario....... The dog chases a squirrel onto the carport, the squirrel gets up in the engine compartment of my Mothers new Pontiac car..... the dog crawls under the car and will not leave the squirrel alone, barking continuously.....
My Mom calls her neighbor to come and get the squirrel out of her car engine compartment...... he is late leaving for work at the Post office. He is temporarily employed, and being considered for permanent employment and cannot be late for work, so he can not come over and help her.
The dog keeps after the squirrel for over an hour or more, the squirrel gets irate and starts chewing on wires under the hood......causing $500 worth of repairs when the wires short out and fries some electronics when she tries to start the car to run the squirrell out.......
To this day the car damage is the fault of the neighbor and not the dog who drove the squirrel insane!
So this should give you a picture of today's events........
We get to Moms and ring the door bell ( a brass bell hanging on the wall.)
Sassy starts barking, so I start barking and growling outside the door to mess with the playful and lovable 13 year old dog. Sassy barks back excitedly!
My wife wacks me on the arm and tells me "Quit that before you give the dog a heart attack"
Mom opens the door....Sassy comes running to greet me...... and falls over at my feet, barely able to breathe, shaking, and losing bladder control!
OMG......... If this dog dies my Mom will hate me till she or I die and everyone will know I was a dog murderer!
She grabs a towel and dunks it in the ice water pitcher and hands it to me...... I start rubbing the dogs head with the cold water..... not about to try and give it mouth to mouth........
It continues to empty it's bladder......shaking... I am about to crap on myself.......!!!!!!!
All I could think was....... " Don't die dog, don't die dog, come through this and die two or three days later.......... oh man I am gonna be blamed for killing it......"
The towel rubs the dogs eye balls that bulge out normally anyway, it does not even blink or flinch........I finally poured water on it's head, it blinks after a while........it quits peeing, it picks up it's head weakly......
I am thinking "It lives, now a mad dash to the vets!"
The dog finally tries to get up and stands, shakily I must say, but staggers to it's bed and lays down.........
About 15 minutes later it gets up and is fairly normal....... Mom kept saying it was it's heart, I said the old dog was having an epileptic seizure.......
Life is good.....we petted the dog till time to leave and told Mom to take her to the vet.
If it dies any time soon........ at least I won't be around to be the blame!
Wayne
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Trophy Buck
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What a story Wayne! I don't know if I should laugh at it or feel sorry for the dog. Glad the dog is ok though.
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Marksman
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After reading the firsthalf of that, then reading this line.....
"so I start barking and growling outside the door to mess with the playful and lovable 13 year old dog"
I almost peed myself because I just knew you were going to say you killed your Mom's dog!
Great story. I would have messed with Mom's head more though!
MOSSY OAK PRO-STAFF
"Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you."
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Button Buck
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Glad to hear you can't be blamed....
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Trophy Buck
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Post of the Month right there!
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Trophy Buck
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Man, that was a close one for you. Better take it easy on that dog next time!
Climb on Axel
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Gameskeeper
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Hilarious!
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Chance favors the prepared mind...
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Marksman
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You had the luck of the Irish with you and I
don't think I'd push it. Really glad to hear
the dog is ok.
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"Courage is being scared to death-
but saddlin up anyway." John Wayne
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Buck
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Thanks guys, my wife said you could not make up a story like this!
The dog went to the Vet today and is epileptic and they gave Mom some pills to give it daily...........
I have decided that when I go home again....my new nickname will be.......
"The Dog Whisperer"!!!!!
If that dog had died, my Mom would probably have croaked right then and there.....
I would either be charged for a double homicide or planning a double funeral!
Team SPLEEN SPLITTERS
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www.teamhammerdog.com
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 Posted 5/13/2008 9:49:49 PM |
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